Get on with it
by XxDaminWolfbladexX
Summary: Yes this is DaminWolfblade, the whole fic is now reposted here. Remus and Sirius get together after struggling through angstier-than-average-teenage-angst
1. Tension & Plots

**Title: **Get on with it

**Author: **Damin Wolfblade (or XxDaminWolfbladexX, as I am now forced to call myself.

**Rating:** PG-13 or whatever its new equivilent is. Language and SLASH (beware innocents)

**Disclaimer:** None of the characters belong to me, they are the property of Ms JK Rowling. No point in suing me, I'm a student...

**Summary: **A Remus/Sirius SLASH story. How they get together with the help of James and Peter. Hints of JPLE.

_Chapter One: Tension & Plots_

"Fuck."

They were wrestling again.

James and Peter ignored the garbled profanities emerging from the tangle of limbs that was their best friends Remus and Sirius, and continued to work on their Herbology homework.

"Humph!" A panting Sirius plopped down beside James, who flashed his friend a quick grin before returning to his paper. "Don't you want to know who won? Or why we were even fighting…again?" queried an attention-seeking Sirius, as Remus pulled up another chair and sat between Sirius and Peter. "Ah, Padfoot. Why were we fighting?"

"Well Moony that would be because…huh…I have absolutely no idea." Sirius replied, his brows furrowing in concentration, as he attempted to find the misplaced memory.

Peter rolled his eyes at Sirius' response and expression. Anyone with two brain cells, who had seen Remus and Sirius together, could figure out that they thought any excuse to roll around together and touch each other, was a good excuse. They'd been fumbling around each other since the beginning of their fifth year; they were now half way through sixth year and still fumbling around each other, both pretending that they are content with a purely platonic relationship.

At first he and James had assumed they would figure it out themselves and had accordingly left the issue alone. However, for two bright people they were being incredibly obtuse and dense. The situation was beginning to get a tad ridiculous and was starting to wear on Peter's nerves.

"Well whatever the reason, I'm tired. I'm gonna go have a shower and head to bed. G'night." Remus stood up slowly and stretched. He winced and lowered his arms and moved gingerly towards the stairs.

"Goodnight Moony" the remaining Marauders replied.

The seconds trickled by slowly for Sirius, after Remus left and he contented himself with thoughts of Remus upstairs in the shower, before he mentally castigated himself. He could not be thinking about his friend like this. He had long ago accepted that he had interests both sides of the fence, so to speak, but never had he felt anything like the feelings he had for Remus. However he refused to jeopardise his relationship with Remus, it meant far too much to him.

His diverting train of thought was broken by James slamming down his quill and loudly claiming that he'd finished. In the process he attracted some rather angry glares from the few other occupants of the common room, including Lily Evans, to whom, he flashed a charming smile. She just glared harder before turning back to the conversation she was having with her friend. Peter and Sirius chuckled at their friend's misfortune, "Oh hush. She loves me really." James assured his friends, who dutifully stopped laughing but their amusement was evident in their eyes. James scowled and turned to the stairs. Peter's hand shot out and wrapped around James' arm.

"Aw, Prongs, sorry mate. Don't suppose you could help me with this concluding paragraph?" Peter asked with a meaningful glance between Sirius and the dormitory stairs. James caught his meaning and re-seated himself, shuffling closer to Peter.

"Ah, look Padfoot we could be a while so, er, why don't you go to bed or chat up some girls or something?"

Sirius sighed and stood, raising his hand to his forehead in a very melodramatic fashion, "I know when I'm not wanted." He flashed them a disarming smile before flouncing up the staircase.

Peter grinned and James shook his head at their friend's display. "I know you didn't want to talk to me about your paper, so…" James trailed off waiting for Peter to take up the dialogue. Peter looked over his shoulder to ensure Sirius really had gone before he moved his head close to James' and said in a low tone, "Remus and Sirius need our help, if I see one more display of unresolved sexual tension, like tonight's little episode, I'll, I'll, well I don't know what I'll do but it won't be pleasant. Plus their fight – slash – wrestling matches are getting more violent every time. One of them might get seriously hurt."

James grinned at his blond friend's expression before turning serious. "I know and I totally agree but what the hell are we supposed to do?" Peter shrugged, then jumped as James exclaimed, "I've got it!" and cackled, all fairy-tale-witch like.

Peter blinked and looked at James as though he'd grown two extra heads or at least done something really dumb. In all the years he'd known James and all the pranks they'd pulled in that time, not once had he ever heard James cackle.

James loftily ignored Peter's look and continued with a small cough, "Anyways, it's really quite simple, all we have to do is lock them in a broom closet, bung on a couple of spells and voila. In their boredom and close proximity they'll confess their feelings, smooch some and then we let them out." James chose this point to pause for breath and he furrowed his brows together. "It's a stupid idea isn't it," he stated rather than asked. Wormtail pursed his lips together and nodded sympathetically. "Damn."

James flopped forward towards the table, his forehead coming into contact with the hard wood with a loud 'THUNK'. "Shit!" he yelped, rebounding backwards and rubbing the sore spot. Again Lily looked over in their direction eyes filled with disapproval. James managed not to notice and continued grumbling to himself about 'stupid tables', bloody Moony and Padfoot' and 'broom closets'

Peter smothered a smile and instead attempted to present a neutral face. "I would suggest a game of 'spin the bottle' or 'truth or dare' but they are far to clichéd." Peter remarked in all seriousness, trying to get Prongs back to the matter at hand.

"Hmmm… I know, so was the whole broom closet thing." Peter grinned, "Maybe we should sleep on it. But, by god I've never had this much trouble coming up with a prank before, why is this so different?"

Peter shrugged and begun to gather up his things. James sighed and joined him heading up the stairs but not before shooting a quick glance in the direction of his red-headed love of his life.

……………………………………………………………………………………………...

A/N: Reviews/comments would be very much appreciated.

All the rest of the chapters can be found on my Live Journal, (link on my profile page). None of the rest of the chapters will be posted here, as fanfiction doesn't want me. I just want people to know where they can find the rest of the story and others by me.

Hugs and Kisses

Damin Wolfblade


	2. Meanwhile, upstairs

**Title: **Get on with it

**Author:** Damin Wolfblade

**Rating: **PG-13

**Disclaimer: **As per normal.

Well here is the second instalment, I hope you like it.

_Chapter Two: Meanwhile, upstairs…_

Soft, warm jets of water were hitting his back, washing away the pain in his tight muscles after yet another 'fight' with Sirius. Remus didn't know why they wrestled so often, but they did. Of course he wasn't exactly complaining, who would complain about being pressed up against Sirius Black? Remus shrugged to himself and stepped out of the shower. After wrapping a towel around his waist he headed into the dormitory he shared with his friends. Upon open the bathroom door, he found himself looking into stunning midnight-blue eyes. Sirius' mouth was hanging open as he took in the beautiful sight before him; wet, semi-naked Remus Lupin. His eyes followed the trail made by a lone rivulet of water running down Remus' lean chest, it was mesmerising.

"Padfoot, I, erm," Remus struggled to find something to say; surely he must be imagining that look in his friend's eye. Sirius' head snapped up and he looked at his friend as though he had just been broken out of a trance.

He stepped back and mumbled his apologies before turning and practically running out of the dorm. Sirius didn't go anywhere once he reached the hall; he just flopped against the wall, panting like he had just run a marathon. _Oh God, Oh God, Oh God. You are such an idiot Padfoot! Probably just fucked up your friendship with the most special person. Fuckin' idiot! _He covered his face with his hands and kicked out backwards against the wall.

Desperate to escape the morose thoughts that were threatening to consume him, Sirius put all his concentration towards breathing deeply. He had to apologise to Moony, but what the hell was he supposed to say? I'm sorry that I'm attracted to you? He ran his hand through his shoulder-length black hair and growled, in a way much akin to Padfoot. "Fuck! Fu…"

"Sirius, are you out here?"

_Shit, Remus…_

The hall way was badly lit, the only real light was spilling out from the ajar door leading to the dorm .It took Remus a while to spot the hunched figure leaning against the wall. He quietly crossed the distance between them and placed his hand on his best-friends shoulder. "Sirius what's wrong? You ran out of the dorm like there was a cave-troll on your heels" Remus grinned slightly as he pictured a cave-troll actually chasing Sirius, his more sombre mood returned, however, as he felt Sirius stir beside him.

"Look Moony, I'm sorry about back there, I um, just blanked out, you know. Probably just tired and all." He gave what he hoped was a tired, convincing smile. Remus looked unsure but nodded anyway.

"If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here, you know that don't you?" Sirius nodded silently and glumly watched Remus retreat to the dorm. _You cannot inflict your perverse feelings on such an extraordinary soul, kind, gentle Moony. __Tomorrow, yeah, tomorrow…_

* * *

As sun began to filter in to the sixth year boy's dorm, the young werewolf was already up and about getting ready for a Friday full of lessons. He had Ancient Runes first whilst the others all had potions together. Remus hated Potions; it was the only class he had struggled with (other than divination but that was different), this being the reason behind his dropping it as soon as he could. Remus heard a stirring beside him and noticed that the bed next to James' was empty. _What the hell was Padfoot doing up this early? Did he even go to bed? _By the look of the sheets, Remus didn't think he had.

James who had been slowly waking up suddenly found himself being roughly shaken by the worried werewolf. "Wha…" James squinted up at the blurry figure standing over him and groped for his glasses on the bedside table. "Remus? What's wrong?" he asked after he was actually able to see Remus' expression.

"James, did Sirius come in with you and Peter last night? His bed doesn't look slept in." Remus had taken a seat on James' bed, now that James was awake and began to fiddle with a loose thread on his blanket, as he was wont to do when he was worried.

James frowned and replied groggily, "Nah, he was heading downstairs when Pete and I came up, looked more determined than anything, but there was a hint of sadness in his eyes, I think." James sat up and absently rubbed his abused forehead, "Oow" he pulled his hand away and dropped it in his lap. "I'm sure he's fine, Moony. You know Sirius, probably off on some hair-brained scheme."

Remus nodded before moving off to wake Peter. He was surprised to find him already awake and looking rather attentive. "Good morning Pete" Remus said and turned to get his books, when he felt a hand on his arm. He looked back at the keen-eyed blond with a puzzled expression on his face.

"He'll be alright mate. He ended up sleeping on the couch for some reason." Remus looked even more confused, so Peter amended, "I couldn't sleep last night, so I went for a late night scamper, and when I got to the bottom of the stairs, I saw Padfoot asleep on one of the sofas." Remus sighed and thanked Peter, before grabbing his books and hurrying off to the library, in need of a solitude that only his own thoughts could provide.

When James and Peter entered the Great Hall they couldn't see Remus anywhere. They could, however, see Sirius flirting with…okay…shoving his tongue down the throat of some random Ravenclaw. Immediately the two came to the assumption that something had happened between Moony and Pads last night, but what? It was a ritual for the morning after one of their little wrestling sessions for Remus to retreat to the library and for Sirius to chat up as many girls as possible, but never had it advanced to this stage before breakfast. Normally snogging wasn't on the agenda until lunch time at least, he generally had some compassion for people eating breakfast.

Peter and James sat with their backs to the Ravenclaw table and made a show of filling up their plates, even though neither was very hungry. "Do you suppose they'll sort it out?" Peter asked breaking the silence that had descended on their small section of the Gryffindor table. James shrugged, "They always do. Hopefully, by tomorrow, everything will be back to normal, it generally works like that." Peter nodded and glimpsed something out of the corner of his eye. He turned to look at the huge doors at the end of the Great Hall and saw Remus standing there, stock still and glaring in the direction of Sirius and his latest conquest. Peter nudged James in the arm and tilted his head in the direction of the doors.

Remus stood there for no longer than a few seconds before he turned and walked, in a deceptively calm manner, over to where James and Peter were sitting, pretending that they hadn't noticed a thing.

No one said anything for a while, until Remus asked James to pass the butter. As well as being given the butter, Remus was bombarded with more information than he ever wanted to know about the after-match goings-on in the boys changing rooms. It seemed that James felt the need to fill the silence, even if his topic was a little…disturbing.

"…And there was this one time when…" He cut off mid sentence, when he eventually noticed the wide-eyed looks Remus and Peter were giving him. He gave a weak laugh and looked ready to launch into another random and probably equally vulgar topic when Remus intervened, "Look I have a feeling this little education session has something to do with me, is it because Sirius is sitting over there with that Ravenclaw in his lap?"

"She's in his lap?" Peter choked; he spun around and then turned back with a disgusted expression, "Have they no care for us poor souls trying to keep the food we eat in our stomachs?" James and Remus both grinned at their friend's little acting display, Peter grinned back and the three got up and trouped off to their first periods.

That night three of the four Marauders were sitting on James' bed, drinking some cheap red wine that James' had conjured up in an attempt to cheer Remus up. This was also part of the ritual following one of Remus and Sirius' 'fights'. Sirius would be off, probably shagging that Ravenclaw, who, by tomorrow, would dumped.

"James, mate, I have to say that this wine is rougher than hessian undies." Remus commented a little happier because of the copious amounts of wine he had consumed. At the mention of the word 'undies' the slightly inebriated, sixteen year old boys fell into fits of laughter.

* * *

A/N: What do you think of Remus' saying about the wine? I love it, I heard it on the radio this morning and had to incorporate it some how.

Anyways I hope you liked this chapter. Again reviews and comments are always welcome.

Damin xxx


	3. Hangovers & Betrayal

Get on with it

By Damin Wolfblade

I own nothing. Unfortunately.

Once again major thanks to all who reviewed.

_Chapter Three: Hangovers and Betrayal_

Lips on his neck

_So wrong_

Nails clawing down his back

_Pain, only, pain, no pleasure_

Blond hair beneath his hands

_Too soft, too blond, it should be tawney, should dangle over warm amber eyes filled with…_

"NO!" Sirius pulled back from the possessive grasp of the blue-eyed Ravenclaw, covering his face with his hands.

"Baby, what's wrong?" she purred, attempting seduction. She leant forward to show off her ample cleavage in the low cut muggle-top. Sirius instantly regretted uncovering his eyes. His body reacted accordingly and desperately wanted to use the warm, willing body. His mind, however, was screaming in revulsion. He felt torn.

The girl glared at him and got up cursing the name Sirius Black. Abruptly he reached out and pulled her into a rough embrace and spent the remainder of the night drowning his sorrow in her soft eager body. Decision made.

* * *

Remus opened his eyes and instantly regretted it, the blinding sunlight blasted into the dorm unhindered. _Damn. _Evidently no-one had drawn the curtains last night. _Oh my head…_ Remus groaned and very slowly drew a hand up to his head. Never in all the drinking nights they'd had, could he remember drinking as much as he had last night. His mouth felt furry and tasted disgusting, much like toilet-water would taste, he mused.

In an attempt to get up Remus realised three things; one: he was naked, two: this was not his bed, and, three: he was not alone.

_Shit._

Remus had always worked very hard to keep his homosexuality hidden, the last thing he needed was to be known as 'the gay werewolf'. And know he'd blown it by possibly sleeping with one of his best friends whilst in a drunken stupor. _Who knows what else I revealed if my mouth had started to –WAIT - there is a possibility I just slept with a guy, one of my best friends at that, and I'm worried I might have mentioned something about Sirius. What the hell am I thinking!_

Remus turned to look at James just as the black-haired boy was rolling over to face him. The sight that met James when he awoke made him jump up and yelp; he immediately sank back down and grabbed his head with both hands. "Oh Merlin. My head is pounding, my mouth tastes like I've just eaten a furry rodent and I don't remember anything that happened last night." James paused and with a sudden intake of breath he exclaimed, "You don't think I ate Wormtail, do you?" Remus attempted to roll his eyes but it hurt too much.

"No James, Pete is fine; you can hear him snoring lightly." He tipped his head in the general direction that the snores were coming from and immediately regretted it. Closing his eyes in an attempt to clear his spinning head, he continued, "We wake up in bed together naked and you have nothing to say about that?" James looked at Remus then slowly lifted his side of the blankets, "Bugger."

"Nice word choice Prongs." Remus commented sarcastically. James glared at him but was unable to come up with a suitably witty reply and opted to just shrug.

* * *

When he awoke Sirius was greeted with the sight of the Ravenclaw girl, whose name he didn't know, snuggled up next to him naked. He groaned as last nights events came flooding back to him and quickly released himself from her arms. He blindly groped for his clothes and hurriedly pulled them on. He wasn't seeing Moony, so why did it feel like he'd betrayed him? He walked quickly back to the Gryffindor tower, trying to collect his fraying thoughts. _No number of girls is going to help me get over Remus, maybe I should tell the James. Yeah, I mean he should be relatively understanding, we are best friends after all. Maybe he can help me get over it…_

The sight that met him as he stepped into the dorm was not pleasant. Remus, his Moony, was sitting naked in bed next to an equally naked James. All blood drained from his face, now he felt betrayed. The two boys looked up when Sirius entered and tried to explain but he wouldn't…couldn't listen, the only thing he wanted to do was die. He did the next best thing; he turned and fled down the hallway, trying to erase the tormenting images that seemed branded in his mind.

* * *

"Holy shit!" Peter exclaimed, as he looked at James' bed. "James? And Remus? Mate," he said looking directly at James, "I, we, knew Remus was gay but you? I thought you liked that Evans chick? Was that all some sort of cover up? Why didn't you tell me?" Peter sounded vaguely upset but mainly curious. He also sounded surprisingly sober.

"No, no, no Peter. James and I are definitely no – wait – what … how did you know I was gay?" Remus faltered; surely he hadn't been that obvious sober and there he was worrying about what he'd reveal drunk.

Peter grinned broadly and James even cracked a small smile before croaking, "We knew because you have had the most obvious crush on Sirius Black since the beginning of fifth year." Remus blushed causing Peter's grin to grow even broader. It was then that the dorm door crashed open and revealed Sirius standing there, looking completely heart-broken at the scene before him. "Sirius, wait, this isn't what it…" But he was gone before Remus could finish. "Oh God. Peter can you remember what happened last night?" Remus asked swiftly rolling out of James' bed and haphazardly pulling on clothes that were scattered around the room. His hangover seemed to have disappeared.

Peter responded immediately, "Yes, after we had finished the last bottle of wine, we had a couple of games of strip-poker." He paused to smile languidly, "I beat you both, both times, quite convincingly by the looks of things, 'cause I hadn't drunk as much as you two. Anyways, after the second game, you," he pointed at Remus, "fell into a dead sleep on James' bed. I'm not strong enough to move you and James was far to inebriated to carry anything heavier than a pillow, so you stayed where you were. Why James didn't move to someone else's bed is anyone's guess." Peter finished his tale with a shrug and a raise of an eyebrow.

The two other boys had paused in their efforts to get dressed to listen to Peter's story. When they'd heard it they could have laughed had circumstances been different, but their friend was very angry and upset roaming around alone needing comfort.

"Well what are you waiting for, go." Peter urged opening the door. Remus and James rushed out, "I'll catch up." He called after them before turning to find some clothes, that didn't reek of beer.

They turned the common room upside down looking for Sirius, before James straightened and slapped his forehead, "Oowww. Of course the Marauder's Map!" He shot up the stairs, rubbing the bruise as he went, seeking to sooth it. Remus was hot on his tail as they tumbled into the dormitory scaring Peter out of his wits. "The hell? What are you doing back here?" He received no reply as James and Remus ran over to James' trunk, so buttoning up his shirt he joined them. "Oh the Marauders Map, can't believe we didn't think of it sooner." James had already unfolded it and all three boys set to work looking for their lost marauder.

"I found him!" Remus proclaimed pointing at a section of the map, "With…Lily Evans, since when do those two get along?" he queried with a creased brow. James' eyes turned to slits as they looked at the lake on the map where the footsteps of Sirius and Lily were visible. Jealously surged through him like a raging fire consuming his entire being. He crushed the corner of the map in his hand before turning on his heel and striding out of the room. Remus and Peter exchanged a worried look before chasing after him but all their attempts to placate him fell on deaf ears.

* * *

A/N: Wow. I'm sorry, I'm not entirely sure where this story is going I have no written plan but it should have a relatively happy ending. Anything that happens is totally spur of the moment. Anyways I hope your liking it. Chapter Four should be out soon. 


	4. Wrath & Madness

Well here is the fourth instalment of Get on with it, I hope you all like it. Usual disclaimers apply. I would be eternally grateful if you review – good or bad. Thanks to all those who have reviewed. Sorry this chapter took longer to get up than the others but I had a serious case of writer's block and wasn't really sure how to proceed un-stereotypically from my last chapter. **Warning:** a tiny bit of non-graphic non-con features in this chapter.

Anyways, I give you…

_Chapter Four: Wrath and Madness_

His rage was palpable and it drowned out the sorrow that was emanating from the pale figure beside him. James was pure anger and jealousy; he had no uncertainty that Sirius was indeed revenging himself upon James by attempting something with Lily Evans.

Peter was the picture of unease, as he struggled to keep up with James' longer-than-normal strides. He was gnawing away at his bottom lip and twisting his fingers into unbelievable knots, continuously glancing between James and Remus.

Remus looked calm and composed, as if ready to play the mediator, externally but sadness was churning within. He felt ill, like he had just experienced his monthly transformation six times over. Remus couldn't understand why Sirius would react like that and do something so awful to James. The tiny voice inside his head was telling him all the untruths he wanted to hear, _Sirius did it because he likes you, just as you like him. He is now destroying his friendship with James because he is jealous – thinking that you and James are in the relationship he wants…_

_No! Sirius Black does not like me in that way! Why does my own mind insist on torturing me?_ Remus shook his head to clear the all too appealing thoughts, not the part about destroying friendships but the part where Padfoot likes him. _If only…_

Other students traversing the corridors, were quick to get out of the path of the wrathful Gryffindor, he looked ready to vent his temper on anyone foolish enough to step between him and his prey.

* * *

_Skin against skin_

_Lips grazing over high cheek bones_

_Calloused hands running down a scarred torso_

_Glasses askew…It's not me, it's not me._

Sirius couldn't escape the images bombarding him; he was drowning in the thoughts of Remus, his beautiful Remus, in the arms of James, his best friend, the traitor, the betrayer.

He paid no heed to the direction he was going in, he only knew he had to escape the castle and its haunting memories. Thankfully the Entrance hall was deserted when he reached it and so he had no trouble slipping out into the frosty Hogwarts grounds. Sirius was so numb inside he couldn't feel the cold seeping through his inadequate clothing or the snow beneath his feet that were shod only in socks.

When Sirius roused himself from his internal abuse he found himself by The Lake. He tried to content himself with looking out over the lightly iced water; he watched the snow flakes fall only to be engulfed by the masses of other flakes already fallen. The snow was beautiful, so white; it seemed to glow with an unearthly pale light. He dragged his eyes away from the dazzling picture and realised, for the first time, he was not alone. Sitting not ten paces away from him was Lily Evans, her flaming hair creating a maelstrom around her head, as she appeared to stare at nothingness.

_Evans, didn't Potter like her? _Sirius didn't stop to consider anything, before he got up and crossed the snow laden distance between them with a savage smile firmly fixed upon his handsome face. Lily heard the snow crunching under the heavy tread of someone approaching her. She looked up in time to see the savage smile and wild glint in the eyes of Sirius before he reached her side and darted forward pinning her to the ground beneath his body weight. He leaned down and roughly attacked her mouth; there was no passion in this kiss, not even lust, it was as cold as the snow under her.

Lily screamed into her attacker's mouth and raised her arms swinging them wildly in an attempt to hit the not-quite-man now fumbling with her robes. She wriggled beneath him madly; trying desperately to get away.

* * *

James was running now, he was so close but not close enough. He was going to kill Black for this, not only was it because the girl was Lily but because he was doing against her will.

They were close enough now to hear Lily's muffled screams of terror and Sirius's grunts of pain as some of her hits landed in sensitive spots.

James was there first, his fists ploughing into Sirius's shirt ripping him off of Lily. Peter dropped to his knees beside Lily offering her any sort of comfort she may want. Remus arrived last, he was panting gently when Sirius' limp form was thrown at his feet from a well aimed punch by James. Sirius slowly got up and launched himself at James screaming obscenities and other unintelligible words.

Remus stood there helpless, what the hell was he supposed to do? Coming between those two would be like signing your own death warrant. His mind told him to get help, counselled him to at least help Peter with Lily but he was rooted to the spot, his body refusing to obey any command.

Lily was sobbing into Peter's slightly chubby arms while he gently stroked her hair and whispered soothing words of calm. Fear and cold was flooding her body, she couldn't think coherently; the only lucid thought she had was _James_ before she passed out into Peter's arms. Peter stoically ignored the fight parallel with him and checked the unconscious girl's breathing and pulse. Remus finally found the will to move and dropped to Peter's side, helping him roll Lily into the recovery position.

The fight surged on around them; neither boy seemed to be getting the upper hand, both fuelled their punches with anger and passion. Eventually Sirius pulled back and looked at the scene surrounding him with surprisingly clear eyes. The cold expression of madness on his face melted away, revealing something so sorrowful and haunted, that Remus knew it would disturb his dreams for weeks. Abruptly Sirius turned away and limped off towards the Forbidden forest. James turned to them, the fading bruise on his forehead re-bruised by a back fist from Sirius; he collapsed beside the two boys and cradled his right arm.

Peter was the first to speak, "We should take Lily up to Madam Pomfrey and also see if she can heal up some of those injuries of yours James." The two other boys nodded, Peter helped James up and Remus, with hidden strength lifted Lily. Together they stumbled into the hospital wing. No one mentioning the name Sirius Black.

* * *

Sirius' anger was swiftly subduing into sorrow but any small spark would set him off again, as Severus Snape found out when he attempted to bait Sirius.

"Had a row with your boyfriend Lupin?" Snape asked silkily, his trademark sneer in place.

"He's. Not. My. Boyfriend," Sirius ground out from behind clenched teeth. His hands slowly curled up into fists at his sides.

_Flame reignited_.

"So that means Lupin is on the market? I have a friend who is interested. He, like me, is very curious about Remus and his mysterious _illness_."

_Kindling added_.

Snape was enjoying this, it was not often he got a second taunt out about Lupin, he would usually be eating dirt by now.

_Fire building_.

He had long ago learnt that Remus was Sirius' weakness and had been milking it for all it was worth. He had made up 'the friend' part but he was truly curious about the Lupin-boy and his pale appearance and reoccurring disappearances.

_Violent inferno_.

Snape was so lost in his triumph never saw the punch coming. He found himself on his back in the snow looking up at an enraged Sirius Black.

"Do you really want to know about Remus, Severus?" he asked in a dangerously soft voice. Snape nodded barely able to contain the combined fear and excitement building in him. Sirius was silent for a moment and looked as though he was calculating something; then he looked down at the Slytherin beneath his foot, "Go to the Whomping Willow tonight, on the trunk you'll find a large knot, press it and follow the tunnel you find inside. Then you will see what you so desperately want to see." He finished with a sneer and lifted his foot off Snape's chest. The deep malice in his voice chilled Severus to the bone and he swiftly got to his feet and made his way back to the castle. As Sirius watched the dark figure grow smaller, the full impact of what he had done hit him. He dropped to his knees covering his face with his hands, and then he screamed.

_I am the traitor. I am the Betrayer.

* * *

_

Well there it is chapter 4. I'm sorry Sirius was kinda evil in this chapter. I also feel I should apologise, I'm not sure I write non-con all that well, so sorry if that bit was kind of unrealistic. Anyways PLEASE review, I live to hear what you think. Chapter five should be up soon, I'm trying to get as much done as possible before I start uni.

Don't forget to review.

Cheers Damin xxx


	5. Little Boys Pretending to be Grown Up

I feel I should acknowledge and apologise for the spelling, punctuation and grammatical errors which I know the story is riddled with. My story is un-beta-ed, so I am the only one who proof reads it and I haven't done creative writing since year 5.

I really am truly sorry for them. I am also sorry for the time it took to get this chapter out, I suffered even worse writer's block than before sigh And I just started uni and have been in over my head. I am ever stressed.

I would be **SO** grateful if you reviewed. I would attempt bribery but I own nothing of value, I have no money and I can't even cook (so that's cookies gone.)

_Chapter Five: Little Boys Pretending to be Grown Up_

"But Madam Pom…" Peter was cut off mid whine as the solid oak door was shut in his face. He scowled at it and turned to look at James who was now being supported by Remus. Madam Pomfrey had taken Lily in to be looked after but she refused to heal James because his wounds were from a fight. James tried to shrug nonchalantly but pain lanced through his shoulder, forcing him to further brace himself against Remus.

"'s okay," he forced out, attempting to sound brave, but he could feel himself slowly slipping from reality. His head felt thick and heavy and his mouth was coated with the metallic tang of blood. There was a constant pounding in his ears, like his heart beat intensified. He didn't hear Remus' cry as he slipped from the pale boy's arms to the cold stone floor. There was a resounding thud in the deserted hallway, which bounced threateningly off the rough walls. Peter spun around in alarm and upon seeing his prone friend on the floor, resumed his attack on the hospital door with renewed vigour.

Remus fell to his knees beside James and gently cradled his freshly bleeding head, pressing the black sleeve of his robes against the cut in an attempt to stem the blood flow. James's glasses now lay on the floor, broken; miraculously they had survived the initial fist-fight with Sirius but had been shattered with his impact on the floor.

Remus was desperately worried for his two friends and the innocent girl currently lying in the hospital wing. _Oh God, how much of this is my fault?_ He looked away from James's pale face, racked with guilt, _Why Sirius, Why?

* * *

_

Sirius fared slightly better with his injuries, he didn't pass out but he was slowly chewing himself apart with guilt and shame. He didn't know what to do, he couldn't think. No matter how much he tried, he could not get his mind past the scene from the dormitory. His mind kept running around in circles trying to justify his actions but nothing could equal his most recent actions.

Nothing could validate his betrayal of Remus.

* * *

Madam Pomfrey had eventually admitted James into the hospital ward but had not allowed Remus or Peter access. She informed them sternly that both James and Lily would be out soon, if they left her alone to get on with her craft. Glumly Peter and Remus turned away from, the once again, closed door. They wandered the halls aimlessly, often finding themselves inexplicably outside the hospital door. 

Whilst they walked in silence, not really seeing anything they passed, Peter accidentally brushed against Remus' arm and felt something damp on the taller boy's sleeve. He dragged himself from his thoughts and pulled Remus' arm towards his face, closely scrutinising the wet material. Remus stopped and looked curiously at Wormtail.

"Something wrong?" He asked, struggling to keep a composed voice and figure, he knew what was on his sleeve, he hadn't forgotten the blood that stained his robes. Or who was the reason that blood had been spilt.

Peter turned his penetrating gaze to Remus' face; he instantly recognised that Remus knew. Not really knowing what to say he finally took control of their destination and resolutely lead them to the Gryffindor dormitories.

* * *

He'd been sitting there for too long, he couldn't feel anything below his knees. Snow was falling around him, he needed to do something. Anything could happen if he didn't…Remus could be expelled. _Remus could be expelled. Oh Fuck._

Sirius leapt to his feet, but immediately fell back on to the dirty snow. His legs couldn't support him they were too numb and had a serious lack of blood flowing through them.

_Oh God, I've got to get up, Idiot, Move!_

_Why?_

_Must not delay. _

_God, move.

* * *

_

Remus and Peter decided that time would move faster if they did something, anything. So they made their way to the Great Hall for lunch. Honestly, both boys were starving but neither was willing to admit it aloud. It felt wrong to be feeling something so un-James, Sirius or Lily related at this time. They sat down at the Gryffindor table and felt removed from the rest of the student body who were blithely talking about the trivial matters typical of teenagers. The superficial dialogues washed over them as they ate mechanically tasting nothing that passed their lips. Worry ran rampant through their bodies, preventing them from even basic interactions with their fellow Gryffindors and each other. Neither could find anything particularly fitting to say.

* * *

The cold was blasting through his body, seeping into every fibre of his being. Moving was so hard, he couldn't go more than a few metres before his freezing, exhausted body would collapse again into the unforgiving snow. _I'm so sorry Remus. _Eventually he gave into the darkness clouding his mind and he slipped into blissful unconsciousness. _Remus…

* * *

_

James awoke to find his mind pleasantly empty. He simply lay there, blissfully ignorant of the day's earlier events. He vaguely wondered why he was lying down in a bed that was obviously not his own. He turned his head slightly, glad to find his movement unhindered. His joy was quashed immediately as he finally registered his surroundings. The full memories of the morning savagely bombarded his mind. He now knew why he was lying in bed and why he had experienced the irrepressible happiness when he felt no pain from movement.

He pushed himself up on to elbows and looked around for Lily, Remus or Peter. There was no one else in the hospital wing except the small black spider busily making its web in a corner between the entablature and a caryatid. Madam Pomfrey had been desperate to get rid of the caryatids since she had arrived at Hogwarts a couple of years ago. She believed them to be thoroughly disastrous for healing, especially the healing of young boys. As James stared at the spider the significance of the colour hit him. _Black!_ He pushed himself up fully and swung his legs over the side of the bed.

Before his bare feet could hit the stone floor the large doors at the end of the hospital wing crashed open and Madam Pomfrey rushed in followed closely by two Hufflepuff students, who were half carrying and half dragging a dark, limp form between them. Madam Pomfrey spared James a withering look before focusing her full attention on her most recent patient. James sighed and lifted his legs back on to the bed and pulled the blankets over them. He continued to study the new arrival, whom Madam Pomfrey appeared to be rather worried about.

He was momentarily distracted by the exiting Hufflepuffs and the arched window they passed. Through the diamond patterns he saw inky blackness that was only penetrated by the thin shaft of light excluding from the moon. _The_ _Full Moon. _His thoughts instantly fled from the fight, Lily and his mysterious wing-mate to Remus. _Oh God, the rat can't control the wolf alone. _

He hastily rolled out of the high hospital bed and made a stealthy run for the doors; he stopped in his tracks, however, when he heard the weak, nearly incoherent murmurings coming from the bed of the latest patient.

"Moony…Prongs?" James spun around and heedless of the disapproval emanating from the young Medi-witch he rushed to the side of Sirius, even if only to hit him again. The barely conscious boy continued burbling insanities. Or so James hoped…

"…Bad…so bad… Snape…Moony…Oh God I am so sorry Moony..." James closed his eyes and resited the urge to shake more information out of the now silent boy. Abruptly he turned and ran from the hospital wing, ignoring Madam Pomfrey's indignant cries. He had a sneaking suspicion that he knew what Sirius had done. The halls were deserted. _It must be late,_ James mused, _but is it too late.

* * *

_

So there was chapter five. I hope you liked it.

Please review (pouts and uses puppy-dog eyes)


	6. Full Moons & Transformations

Hi to any who were awaiting this chapter, sorry it has taken me so long to get around to it. Uni and training has been taking all my time but I am currently injured so I thought I should probably take some of my free time and write a chapter (or two if you're lucky!)

Anyhow enjoy the sixth instalment…

_Chapter Six: Full Moons & Transformations_

Intense excitement was flooding his body; rarely did the young Slytherin get this roused about something. He was finally going to find out the _Blasted Lupin Boy's_ secret. Hundreds of scenarios crossed his mind of what he would find at the end of the tunnel, but none of them came close to the unbelievable truth. Though normally astute, Severus failed to make a connection between the state of the moon and his upcoming discovery.

His black robes billowed behind him (a trait he had worked hard to attain) as he hastily walked to the Whomping Willow. So intense was his curiosity that he didn't once stop to consider that Black could have lied to him, as a childish prank to get him into to trouble. At last he could make out the silhouette of the willow and its murderous branches against the white glow of the moon.

* * *

His control was slipping; the moon-illuminated room was fading from his vision. He no longer noticed the shabby furnishings or the musty smell. The only thing he felt was the abrasive moth-eaten blanket beneath him, but soon even that was discarded by his senses. Pain was the only thing he knew now.

Abruptly his body jerked upwards and his back arched, remaining taut like a bow ready for release. Seconds trickled by and he remained in that agonised position before his body was tossed to side, muscles still spasming. His naked body glistened with sweat as it contorted into impossible, bone-shattering positions. His normally peaceful face was twisted into a mask of pain and anguish. Ice ripped through his body as bones were spasmodically broken and re-set to suit the wolf's frame. Fire lanced his skin as he sprouted thick grey hairs on every inch of his fevered skin. His hands and feet convulsed and torturously curled into the clawed paws of the werewolf. A howl of pain escaped from his rapidly distorting mouth before it disappeared behind the features of the wolf, completing his transformation as his mind surrendered to the no-longer dormant wolf.

* * *

James had never run faster in his life, but neither had he ever coveted a destination that seemed so impossible to reach. He mentally cursed Hogwarts and the Ministry for their rules regarding apparating. His thoughts of the Ministry lead to thoughts of werewolf prejudice which caused him to colourfully express his feelings verbally whilst battling for breath.

* * *

He had always been the smallest but the terror had never gripped him like this before. On other full moons there had been Padfoot and Prongs, but tonight there was only Wormtail and a very provoked Moony who was swamped with instinct and fury.

The wolf could sense the cowering rodent but ignored him for the moment, a small part of him recognised him as a member of his pack, but a larger part of him only recognised the fear and hated him for it. He viciously attacked walls and furniture, determined that nothing should escape his pain at the absence of his mate.

* * *

Pride and satisfaction rippled through Severus as he managed to subdue the willow tress and slither through the tunnel entrance. A smirk was firmly etched on his pale features as he lighted the dark tunnel and delved deeper underground.

James was panting and sweating by the time he reached the currently still tree, despite the cool evening and snow blanketed ground. He didn't even allow himself a moments respite before he tore down into the dim tunnel. He reached for his wand, preparing to utter the 'Lumos' spell when he realised he didn't have it.

"Shit!" he yelled into the absorbing darkness and proceeded to stumble blindly down the roughly hewn path.

* * *

The bedroom of the shack was eerily silent, all noises of destruction and anger had ceased. This scared Wormtail more than the earlier mindless annihilation of the room had. The atmosphere was choked with fear and pounding rage. Tattered remains of curtains framed the spelled windows that revealed only the traitorous moon in sea of ink - even the stars hid themselves tonight. Splinters of wood and scraps of fabric littered the dirty floor, where the wolf now lay motionless. No item of furniture had been left unscathed except the already partially-broken chair that Wormtail was crouched under.

The molten –gold eyes of the wolf revolved to the trembling rat and slowly Moony got up. He stalked predatorily towards the living creature, whose fear was clouding his senses. Suddenly he stopped and tensed, lifting his head into the air, he listened. If a werewolf could smile, it would definitely the expression that passed over Moony's face before he sauntered off to crouch behind the fluffy mess that had once been the mattress on the bed. Wormtail was momentarily confused then he heard the unmistakeable sound of footsteps – human footsteps.

* * *

He was burning, burning from the outside in. He was lost in a grey world of shadows and he was completely alone. He couldn't think, or remember how he had come to be in this forlorn place. What he had done to be so isolated. He raised a heated hand to his face to find that it too was barely visible, no more than a whisper of a person.

* * *

He was so close to reaching his goal, anticipation speared his body and all rational thoughts were gone. He could only think of what lay beyond the old, wooden door. Initially he had been surprised at finding himself inside a desolate old building, but then he figured what better place to hide a secret. It hadn't taken him long to navigate the oppressive tunnel and when he had found himself at a trapdoor he felt immensely satisfied.

* * *

James' legs felt as though they were about to collapse beneath him, never had he tackled the tunnel in suffocating darkness before. His shins were covered in scratches and bruises, and his arms had fared little-better. He reached the trapdoor and found it still open from Snape's entrance; he prayed that he wasn't too late. He bounded up the steps two at a time, suppressing the urge to sink down and rest his abused body.

* * *

The cool metal door knob was in his hand, blood was pounding in his ears. He was so close.

* * *

The werewolf again, suddenly raised his head, listening and sniffing. He recognised the vague scent drifting through the stale air and matched it with Prongs. Listening and sensing, he knew that Prongs wasn't here to play, he was going to steal his prey. He got up and stood in the centre of the room facing the door ready to pounce on the person who was turning the knob. No time for games, this was it.

"No Snape!" Severus looked over his shoulder and saw Potter running towards him, yelling warnings at the top of his voice, urging him not to open the door. The greasy-haired boy sneered before twisting the handle and pulling the door open.

The sight that met his eyes was one that would terrify him for months to come. Seconds seemed to pass like minutes as the wolf set back on its haunches ready to launch at the violently-shaking boy. Severus could not look away from the predatory gleam in the amber eyes. James was at his side, he appeared to be moving in slow motion as he pushed Severus to the side breaking the trance like state, enabling him to slam the door shut. There was a sickening crunch on the other side as the werewolf collided with the heavy door. This was followed by a keening howl as the wolf once more set about the destruction of the room and itself.

* * *

Hmmm, so what did you think?

I'm not sure about the exact timing of 'The Prank' but I hope you can forgive any errors there. Again apologies for mistakes in spelling and grammar etc.

Thanks to all who reviewed and please feel free to drop me a line or two with some feedback, it really is most appreciated. (Cheesy smile)


	7. Understanding & Forgiving are Two Very D...

Yeah, some people have mentioned that Peter is portrayed as being too smart, un-evil etc. But I, er, kind of did that on purpose I don't really want to make him an insipid and stupid character. I don't like dividing good and evil that way. I have plans for him, fear not. His turn to evil will either appear later in this or in a sequel (yes I have big plans!) His more simpering, sycophantic nature will come out when he turns to the dark side…

Oh yeah, haven't put a disclaimer in for a while so: The characters and 'The Prank' idea don't belong to me. Neither does the chapter title, it is a quote from Anne Bishop's trilogy "The Black Jewels", yeah its either in books 2 or 3, can't remember exactly…

By the way the random thoughts belong to Peter.

_Chapter Seven: Understanding and Forgiving are Two Very Different Things._

_I'm always forgotten. I try to help but no one ever notices any of my input. Did James even see me?_

_Don't be silly, of course he didn't see you but he had good reason not to, he was saving a life. James is so brave, just like us, we were there. Weren't we?_

_I suppose…_

_Don't listen to him! You didn't do anything but cower in the shadows, like a small child hiding behind his mother's skirts. You're weak and pathetic, why would James care about where you were?_

_Leave me alone…

* * *

_

The sun was slowly rising; it appeared to be reluctant to enter a world so tainted. The gold sky was streaked with blood and shadow. James could only see the colours, swirling surreally around his mind, forcing philosophical ideas of deeper meanings. He was leaning against the stone window frame in the Hospital Wing, staring out at the beauty that was Hogwarts in winter. He thought it was rather contradictory after the events of last night…

After slamming the door on Moony, he forced himself to ignore the heart-wrenching noises of self-mutilation and his complete exhaustion, to lead the dazed Snape out of the shrieking Shack and back to the castle. There he had dumped him in Madam Pomfrey's care, giving her a brief description of what had happened before walking back to The Shack, with his wand this time, to help Remus. He didn't know what had happened to Peter and spared him a brief thought of concern, hoping like hell, that he hadn't been in The Shack after he'd departed with Snape.

He changed into his stag form immediately upon opening the bedroom door, prying it fully open with his antlers. The room was completely silent; the only noise piercing the stuffy air was the unsteady, rasping breath of the bleeding werewolf. Moony lay injured and defenceless on the cold floor, amid the debris that once made up a room. The wolf weakly lifted its head to look at the intruder, who had earlier spoilt his fun and snarled softly. Prongs warily remained a good distance from the desperate werewolf, and assessed the damage from afar. It looked like he had broken a few bones on his impact with the door, not that James was surprised, not after the crunch he'd heard. Prongs shuddered and continued his investigation. It looked like Moony had tried to kill himself after his and Snape's exit. He was basically a bloody pulp that only vaguely resembled a wolf. His fur was no longer a silky grey, but completely discoloured with dried blood. Streaks of the red brown liquid also scarred the floor, alongside deep gouges caused by sharp claws.

Unable to get close he simply waited until the back transformation occurred. Never in his life did he think he would he ever see something as horrific as Moony's transformation to Remus. But he realised how wrong he was as he approached the shaking boy and saw what the injures looked like transferred to a human form. His stomach rolled and he looked around desperately for something to cover his friend with. The image seemed to be tattooed onto his brain; he couldn't escape the haunting image of his friend so utterly destroyed. Realising there was nothing he slipped off his cloak, wishing now he had more on underneath than the thin shift provided for all guests in the Hospital Wing. Gently he laid the cloak over his unconscious friend and slowly he levitated him to the Hospital Wing.

So here he was, beyond exhaustion surrounded by his three friends and Snape. Remus and Sirius were asleep under one of Madam Pomfrey's heady concoctions, their bodies recovering with magical aid. Peter was asleep in one of the chairs by the fire. James had been surprised to find him here when he returned with Remus, but glad as well. Peter had fallen asleep as soon as he sat down, leaving James with no answers as to his location throughout the night. Severus was sitting opposite the sleeping boy and was staring stonily into the crackling fire, every so often glancing up, eyes darting between Remus and Sirius, daring at least one of them to wake up, so he could vent his feelings.

James turned from the dishonest landscape at the sound of doors opening, Madam Pomfrey walking in followed predictably by Dumbledore. James knew he would come but the question had simply been, when? Dumbledore smiled weakly at James but he could see the normal twinkle was missing from his eyes and that worried James. Gravely he walked to the sides of Remus and Sirius before he beckoned to James to join him and Severus by the fire. James pushed off the sculpted wall and sank onto the rug at Dumbledore's feet, looking up at the bearded headmaster expectantly. Dumbledore steepled his finger beneath his chin and looked thoughtful.

Severus eventually dragged his eyes from the fire and jumped when he realised that the headmaster was sitting not two feet from him. Immediately a look of fury crossed his face and he opened his mouth to verbally castigate Dumbledore on his admission of a Werewolf into Hogwarts. Dumbledore beat him to it with a reprimanding look, "Not now Severus, not now." The Slytherin narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything.

The speechless silence lasted for a few more moments before Dumbledore broke it again, sounding far more composed and confident now. "James would you please tell me your version of yesterday's and last night's events please."

James nodded and looked a tad uncomfortable, his answer was a little vague, "Well, uh, yesterday morning we had a fight over a _misunderstanding_ and _he,_" he briefly glanced at the bed that the prone Sirius was lying on, "was rather upset and after the fight he stormed off, presumably to wherever he told Snape about Remus. I guess you know the rest, huh?" He finished tiredly; the exhaustion he had been ignoring was slowly creeping upon him again.

Dumbledore nodded, not probing any further about the misunderstanding. Then he turned to Severus, indicating that he wanted his contribution.

"What is there to tell? Black plotted to kill me by tricking me into…" He was cut off by James defending his friend. He might still, himself, be angry at Sirius but he wasn't about to let Snape unjustly accuse him of evil actions.

"Sirius didn't plot anything and neither did he trick you, you've been curious about Remus for ages. I'm sure it wasn't his intent to get you killed."

"Then what did he want Potter? Did he hope that that half-breed and I would make daisy chains together?" Snape retorted scathingly to James loyalty.

James looked troubled, he couldn't answer these questions. Only one person could do that and he was unavailable for questioning.

Dumbledore took this opportunity to clear his throat and draw their attention back to him. "I think gentlemen that that is enough for tonight. Severus, Sirius will be making a proper apology to you as soon as he is able, he will also be talking with me at great length. I hope this will satisfy you." He held up his hands to silence Snape's protests, "Furthermore I would ask you not to mention this incident to anyone, including the nature of Remus' condition. It is perfectly acceptable for him to be studying here, and I will not have his learning disrupted through your petty prejudices."

James was pleased to note that Snape looked like he was about to explode, but a further look from Dumbledore calmed him enough to agree to the terms.

"Now, I think we should all be heading to breakfast or bed, come Severus I will walk you to your dormitory. Luckily it is a Sunday; no one will question your absence this morning. Mr Potter, Madam Pomfrey will allow you to stay here today to rest up, she is still concerned about you." The twinkle had returned to his eyes, as he mentioned the last part.

After Dumbledore left with Snape, Madam Pomfrey bustled over to James and insisted he go to bed. After checking on her three wards, she exited to her workroom. James fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow, but it wasn't a fulfilling sleep. It was restless and plagued by half formed images of bloody bodies and red hair crushed against dirty snow, with screams and howls assailing his senses.

* * *

Peter woke up to a spell darkened room and revelled in the warmth that surrounded him. He rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and squinted, surveying the room; he saw three blanketed lumps on separate beds and logically assumed they were Remus, James and Sirius. Content that everyone was fine, he snuggled down further into the plush armchair and let his thoughts wonder… 

_Leave me alone he says, do you really want me to leave you alone?_

_Yes…

* * *

_

The fog slowly cleared from his mind, but he could still feel the residual pain throbbing through his entire body. He could feel the bandages beneath his fingers; he could feel their constrictive weight pressing down on practically every inch of his thin body. He felt so weak and the residual tingling of magic healing wasn't helping his queasy stomach. Like normal he remembered nothing of his transformation but the pain. He did, today, however have slivers of fear permeating his rational thoughts. It was this persistent nagging that eventually forced him to open his eyes. As he did the pain exploding behind his eyes was almost as blinding as the light, he resisted the urge to close them again and gently rolled his head to the side to see if anyone else was there. The only things he saw were the familiar features of the Hospital Wing, including the caryatids, which Dumbledore delighted in teasing Madam Pomfrey about. Remus managed a meagre smile as he thought of Dumbledore and Madam Pomfrey 'discussing' the architecture.

He was drawn from his thoughts by the sound of a door scraping open, the entrant obviously trying to be quiet but failing miserably as the echoes resounded through the room. Remus moving his head as slowly as possible to avoid some pain, turned to look at the person entering. His heart fluttered when he saw who it was, but then it sank as he recalled the events that he thought happened yesterday. He then absorbed the look on Sirius' face and blurted out concern, against his will, "What's the matter Sirius, you look terrible. What happened yesterday?"

The black haired boy looked surprised by his last question, "Yesterday? Yesterday, you were sleeping after… after the… full m-moon." He trailed off towards the end, his voice no more than a whisper.

"What happened, Sirius?" Remus asked feeling his ire rise, he savagely quashed the pain threatening to surface and put on a stern face. He remembered… only the events of the day everything after the rising of the moon remained a mystery to him.

Sirius looked both resigned and terrified at the same time as he gingerly stepped closer to Remus and sat on the bed next to where Remus lay. His shoulders were hunched and he couldn't look at Remus as he spoke, "Remus I am so sorry, but I… well after the fight I… I did something really bad. Worse than what I did to James on Saturday morning, worse than anything I've ever done. I was so angry and hurt, I wasn't thinking straight," Sirius was sobbing now, his shoulders shaking as he revealed his guilt, "I told Snape," Remus was momentarily confused but before he could voice this Sirius had started talking again, "but I couldn't help it, he just made me so angry. It was like my mind was totally detached from my body; I had no control over what I told him."

Understanding dawned on Remus and he felt his body convulse with fear, slowly he shook his head from side-to-side, willing this all to be some sort of sick joke or a dream, anything but reality. His hopes came crashing down around him as Sirius looked up and he saw the bloodshot eyes and guilt-twisted face. He wanted to scream. "I'm so sorry Remus, I told him about you… you being a… werewolf." It was that whisper again, but it sounded like shouting to Remus, he was incapable of speech. This was the boy who he had harboured feelings for for over two years. He felt his heart snap, and his head spin as his darker, angrier side took over. "What happened to Severus?" he asked in a deathly calm voice, which chilled Sirius to the bone, never had he heard Remus use that voice.

Sirius swallowed before replying, "Nothing, but shock. J-James, er… saved him. Remus, look, I really am so truly sorry. If I could turn back time I would, but I can't. Please forgive me or something, just please don't condemn me with your eyes." He looked distraught, like he had visited death and back.

"I understand what you did and why you did it." He said cautiously. Sirius had the merging of a smile on his face, so Remus continued, "You misunderstand me, I said I understand why you did it but I never said that I forgive you."

* * *

A review or two would be nice, break me out of the melancholy mood my writing has put me in. Also I have to do a little bit of a **personal shameless plug**. I've just posted a little ficlet of Oliver/Cedric slash it's called Drowning in the Shower. (Totally original, eh?) So yeah, check that out if it's your cup of tea. It's my first piece of smut (I'm so proud) so feedback would be appreciated. It can be found on my LJ (details on my profile), I think its the reason my original account was deleted, so it will not be posted here. 

Chapter 8 is being worked on incredibly slowly, are people still interested in this fic? If yes, I will speed up work on it and do it while procrastinating rather than pointlessly surfing the web. So please provide me with feedback, please.


	8. Torturous Silence

Howdy. Sorry this chapter took forever to get done… I really had absolutely no idea what to write – angst is so hard to write, comedy is so much easier (sigh). As always, apologies for spelling, grammar and punctuation errors.

_Chapter Eight: Torturous Silence_

He felt hollow. He was simply a skin of grief and self-hatred that encased nothing but a scrap of tortured mind and shards of a broken heart.

The heat flooding from the glowing fire did nothing to warm him; the memories replaying over and over again in his mind numbed his body. They cast a shield of self-loathing around him, transporting him from the cosy warmth and comfort of the Gryffindor common room to the dark, bleak recesses of his mind.

He sat in a sheltered alcove that housed a small, lightly frosted window. His long arms were tightly wrapped around his drawn up legs, his back hunched over in a sign of complete and utter devastation and defeat. Greasy strands of normally immaculate hair draped over his face and obscured his vision as he stared out over the winter wonderland. The glass was as cold against his forehead forcing daggers of ice to rip into his mind, increasing the tempo of the continuous pounding behind his eyes, which he argued was the only reason behind the tears wetting his cheeks. Through eyes blurred with tears and hair, he hatefully…_jealously_…watched a mass of students play heedless and innocent in the snow, enjoying the childlike pleasure to be found in such a simple element of nature.

The sound of the portrait swinging open was slowly absorbed into his conscience and he withdrew slowly from his melancholy thoughts. He pulled back from the glass and turned to frighten off who ever had disturbed his perfect nothingness. He brought his right hand up to his face and severely wiped away the tears, as he was dropping his hand back to his lap something caught his eye and he raised it again, staring morosely at the single tear, as more memories came flooding back to him. Memories of Remus stepping out of the shower perfect drops of water trailing down his lean torso, memories of the four of them getting caught in the rain and not bothering to look for shelter but enjoying the feel of the fine droplets on their skin. Memories began to blend with fantasies, and those made him close his eyes and ball his hand into a fist, destroying the betraying tear forever. Any plans to keep his solitude in this room were completely lost, he needed to escape the memory filled room and the confines of the castle. Like a man possessed, he leapt from his seat and blundered past a very confused looking first year, out the portrait hole and down a winding corridor. Though the he left the unwanted physical company behind, he could not escape the intangible horrors of his mind.

_I never said I forgive you…_

_My friend… My love…_

_He would never love some one like me, a Black…_

_That's right I'm a Black, a pureblood, is it any surprise that I betrayed Remus…?_

_Yes! I'm not like them; I'm not like my family!_

_Yes, I am…even if I am a blood traitor…hmm, traitor, that's right. What's stopping me from being another sort of traitor?_

_Am I doomed by my genealogy?_

_Yes._

_Understanding and Forgiving…_

* * *

Remus had been unable to move since Sirius had left leaving him alone with his cluttered thoughts and the overwhelming knowledge of Sirius' betrayal. He had told Sirius that he'd understood why he had told Snape but reflecting on it now he realised that was a long way from the truth. Honestly he had no idea why Sirius had been so angry and upset. Sure, he knew that the anger had clouded Sirius' judgement enough to be able to tell Snape Remus' secret and had planted the ideas of revenge – but why did he need to seek revenge and upon whom was his wrath intended? Other questions surged through Remus' mind, why was the anger so potent? And who had caused such an anger to be present in the first place? Questions were repeating themselves over and over in Remus' mind and his thoughts were simply swimming in circles, for try as he might he could find no logical explanation for Sirius' fury.

Maybe, Remus thought still staring distractedly at the ceiling; Sirius hates homosexuals and that's why he reacted so badly to finding James and Remus sharing a bed that morning? But immediately a million and one reasons as to why that simply could not be rushed at him. Everybody knew James had had the biggest crush on Lily since any of them could remember and that it would be impossible for any one who doted upon a girl like that to hold any lustful feelings for his half-breed friend. And anyway Sirius was far too much of an accepting and open guy to be prejudiced against someone simply because of their sexuality. More reasons bombarded him but the most persistent was his own simple wanting for Sirius not to be.

* * *

Lily had surrounded herself with friends since she had been discharged from the hospital mid-afternoon on Saturday. She didn't like to be alone, it gave her too much time to think about what had happened with Sirius, but more disturbingly her thoughts more frequently had this unusual tendency to slip to vivid images of a certain tall raven-haired boy with glasses. It worried her that she found these thoughts of James more disturbing that the whole issue of Sirius which of course should be her mind's priority at the moment – shouldn't it?

Lily hadn't confided in any of her friends, her more pragmatic side objected to it. It wasn't as though she didn't trust them, or that she felt she couldn't talk to them; she found herself not wanting to share partly because she simply didn't want to endure the pitying yet revenge-advice giving attention she would undoubtable receive in word got out about what had happened. She had been given the opportunity for counselling with three separate teachers; Dumbledore, Madame Pomfrey and Professor McGonagall had all been more than willing to offer their assistance but she had gracefully declined all of them and had only spoken to Dumbledore to assure him that she was fine and to recount what had occurred, insisting that she bore Sirius only the barest minimum of ill-will.

The fear that had consumed her when Sirius' weight was bearing down on her was indescribable, yet a small part of her had been less frantic and had chanced to observe the overwhelming sadness that was overpowering Sirius' eyes, shining out like a beacon from it's uncomfortable nest of anger and pain. She was so confused as to her feelings toward Sirius, she knew she should be furious and scared yet she only felt the tiniest bits of either, mainly she was filled with curiosity and, confusingly, concern. The only 'injury' she had received from the ordeal had been a mild shock which simply induced fainting – which Lily remained quite embarrassed about. She often scolded herself whenever she revived the memory, _How stereotypically female could you get?_

What she couldn't understand is why Sirius would do something like that, it seemed so out of the character from the confident boy that everyone knew, sure he caused all sorts of trouble and was particularly unkind to Severus, but he never actually really attempted to hurt somebody seriously before. It was even out of character for the boisterous boy she observed interacting with his best friends. And it made even less sense, because she was almost certain that Sirius held little interest for the fairer sex, he appeared to prefer Remus. Lily had for a long time being harbouring a private theory that there was something going on between the two friends, all the secretive glances and the subtle touches that Sirius bestowed on Remus, which were occasionally returned, all supported her idea.

Lily shook her head to clear her mind, she was getting off track. Looking around she realised she had slipped away from the main group that was heading back to the Great Hall for lunch after a typically messy Herbology lesson. She found herself walking in the general direction of the Lake and decided to continue on that path realising that her plans of company for distraction just weren't working. The layer of snow beneath her feet was thinned by the large numbers of students that daily waded about the grounds for outside classes, so she had no trouble moving at a swift pace to reach her isolated destination. As she got closer she saw a tall figure slouching by the Lake dispiritedly skimming stones across the rippling surface, watching the number of jumps as though they held the answers to all his problems. For the first time in days she smiled properly, joy spreading through her, warming her limbs as she silently watched James Potter innocently skim stones like an eight year old boy.

* * *

It was hard for Peter to come to grips with the new situation he found himself in. Ever since he came to Hogwarts he had always been surrounded by James and Sirius and later Remus, he had never wanted for company or fellowship, but now every thing had changed. James spent a lot of his time brooding and was quite prepared to snap at any one who invaded his 'quiet time'. Remus was refusing to see anybody since this morning when Sirius had been to see him and well, as for Sirius, nobody had seen him after that either – not that Peter was entirely sure he could talk to Sirius properly at the moment, what he had done to Remus – and Lily – was hard to forgive. It had only been two days, yet it seemed like an eternity that he had spent going to classes alone, spending free periods in the common room actually working, alone. He didn't have that easy confidence that favoured James and Sirius, nor did he possess the quiet mystery that attracted people to Lupin, so he couldn't find company among others, who, as marauder, he would usually ignore. When he didn't have the others for company he was much more susceptible to the derogatory comments made by others about his appearance, personality and how odd the rest of the student body thought it was for him to have been accepted as a marauder.

Whispers surrounded him every where he went so he began to spend more of his time alone, traversing all the secret ways that he knew to get to places where he knew he could be alone. Unfortunately, no matter how far from Hogwarts he ran, he could not escape the scathing commentary that was provided by his mind.

* * *

A thousand apologies for the time it took me to get this chapter out, please forgive me. And no this small chapter was not the product of the – what like three month break, but simply the work of a couple of hours after being motivated by the HBP. I figured I really should add something, I know it's not much and it's kind of just a fill-in chapter, but the next one should be out a lot sooner, because I've got a sort of plan that should keep me going for at least another chapter or two… hopefully.

Anyways…Reviews would be so very much appreciated, as sad as it is; I live to hear what you guys think of my writing, the plot, the character construction etc. So please review, even constructive criticism is welcomed. And this time I bring bribes: triple chocolate muffins!


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